Loving others more than they love you

The following quotes are from the book What do you think of me? Why do I care?

Jesus loved people more than he wanted to be loved by people. Jesus needed to love people more than he needed love from them. For you, this means that true freedom in your relationships comes when the scales are always a little unbalanced: You want the weight to be more on the “love” side than the “be loved” side. (p. 114).

The one who loves more is the one with the power. Does it still hurt to be left out, judged, or ignored? Absolutely. It hurts, but it doesn’t control you. It doesn’t eat away at the core of your being. (pp. 114-115).

Jesus Christ chose a shameful death on the cross so you wouldn’t have to. He came to be the servant who followed the path of sacrificial love. If this is how the King served you, then you can serve others with his power. (pp. 115-116).

There is only one way you could want to love others more than they love you: realizing that you have been loved more than you could ever love in return. (p. 116).

What you really need is to be with something so big that you can think less often about yourself. If you identify yourself as a Christian, you are beginning to understand that. In other words, the problem is that people are too big, you and your desires are even bigger, and God is too small. The problem at its very root is answered in being connected to Jesus. (p. 120).

The best way to live—the way you will be most happy—is to make life more about God and other people than it is about you. (p. 121).

When God says that we should do everything for his glory (1 Corinthians 10:31), he is saying that our lives are intended to make him famous, not ourselves. If you read the first chapter of Ephesians you will read, over and over, that we are intended to live “to the praise of his glory.” This means that you will actually enjoy giving glory to God. You were created to do such things. (p. 122).

Other people are family. If they are human beings they have met the basic qualification, and we are called by God to love them like family. Think of a family time when you had no self-consciousness. Or think about a time with a good friend where you briefly forgot about yourself. What was it like? ...Here is the challenge. It goes back to loving others more than needing them. There is something about love that crowds out our painful self-consciousness. You can’t have one in your heart when the other is there. Consider the needs of others more than you consider your own, and guaranteed, the fear of other people will no longer suffocate you. (p. 131-132).

Make a list of the different people you meet every day. Think about how you can include them as family. What will you actually do? How will you greet them? What will you talk to them about? What kinds of questions will you ask them? And how will you pray? (p. 132)

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:3-4). ... In other words, live as though it's everyone else's birthday (p. 134).

All eyes on Jesus. That is the way of change. Follow him and you learn that the way up is down... Once we learn to walk humbly before the Lord, we find that the skill actually transfers to our relationships with other people. It is the way humans are intended to live. Who am I? Someone who has been given preferential treatment by the King himself. When you know that, it becomes a small thing to put others before yourself... If your hero—your Lord and your God—made himself lower than other people, then it is your honor and privilege to do the same thing. (p. 135).

Who is Jesus? My Lord. I belong to him. He bought me at a great price. Who am I? I owe people. As I have been shown love that I could never repay, I owe love to others. Who are others? Brothers and sisters. (p. 143)

Then, as Jesus gets bigger in your eyes, the opinions of other people simply become the opinions of other people and not the piercing gaze of giants. Your questions change from, “How can I protect myself, fit in, and look good?” to, “How can I wisely love another person?” (p. 145)