Friday, July 26, 2019

Why we worry about what others think

The following is a summary of the first two sections of the book What do you think of me? Why do I care? The sections are called "The Problem" and "The Heart of the Matter".

The fear of the opinions of others is problem we all have to some degree and it comes from wanting to be accepted. While there's nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be accepted, but it turns into a problem when we let that desire control our lives. When wanting the approval of others becomes something you need in order to live, it controls your life. We become like cups, constantly seeking to be refilled by other cups. Sometimes we build walls out of fear of rejection, but that only hurts us more with feelings of emptiness. Whatever we fear will control us and God never intended for us to live in fear of other people's opinions.

Consider these three questions:  Who is God? Who am I? and Who are you (other people)? How we live and react to things in life will reveal how we are really answering them. God's word will show us if we're really answering them right. If we're going to use the bible as our guide, we need to keep in mind that the bible is God's communication to us. When we really believe this, we'll read it more. Then we'll learn all about who God is, who we are, and who others are. We will learn how our creator God intended us to live.

When you're controlled by your desires, doing whatever you want, life becomes about your desires and looking to others to satisfy them. As it says in Jeremiah 17, you're putting your trust in man instead of God. Perhaps you fear others knowing that you're a Christian, that's because you want to feel accepted by those who aren't. Even if, like Peter, you've denied Jesus, He doesn't reject you, He still accepts you. The bible says, "if we are faithless, he remains faithful" 2 Timothy 2:13. As you stick to the bible, you'll see how much need it for direction in life.

Do you trust in God? Sometimes we may trust in God with some things and not with others things. Like ancient Israel, we end up forming mixed allegiances by turning to idols. Whatever trust and depend on in the place of God becomes an idol that we worship. The opinions of others can easily become an idol we turn to, hoping it will give us what we want. To worship anything other than God is false worship. True worship is when you trust in Jesus rather than your reputation, and you follow him in love and obedience, even when it hurts.

In James 4, we learn that underneath our quarrels are our desires. Whenever we live for our desires, we are friends with the world and enemies of God. When you realize that your allegiances are more mixed than you realized, split between the worship of God and the worship of your desires, then seeking God's forgiveness becomes important all the time. When God is relevant all the time, it becomes more natural to be thankful to him.

There is no reason to run away when your divided worship is exposed. Instead, run toward the One who delights in forgiving you. The only way you can change the focus of your worship is to find something even better to focus on. That is your task. For the rest of your life your goal is to be surprised by God to the point that you respond like Moses: you worship (Exodus 34:5-8).

If you ever slip into false worship, God provides a way back to Him, it's like a map. It begins with turning back (repentance), getting to know God (through His word), and becoming like Jesus by loving others as He has loved you. The path you are taking now will guide you to God’s kingdom, a place where you are able to love people more than need love from them. Who is God? He is better than you think.  Who are other people? They are people who you can enjoy, serve, and love.... Who are you? You are somebody who is intended to look like Jesus and live for him rather than yourself.

Next: How to overcome the fear of man

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